then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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