I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
so much tequila, so little girl.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
