i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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