You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
