It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize