we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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