She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Your dad touched me again.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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