I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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