No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
