But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
