Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
