I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize