no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
