He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
