I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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