He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
