I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
