i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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