Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
