Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize