guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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