I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
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You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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