You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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