At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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