Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
