Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
What a dumb baby whore.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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