Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
