you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He felt like a one man threesome
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
