I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
