Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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