...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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