Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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