i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
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Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
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He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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