Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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