I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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