Your dad touched me again.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
