Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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