Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
