I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Randomize
