ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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