Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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