Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize