For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
