there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Randomize
