My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
