I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
