I wanna bring you to show and tell
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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