I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Swine flu is the new snow day.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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