Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
