Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
