ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
