How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
