Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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