She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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