if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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