I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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