And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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