I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
