I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
