Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
