im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I bet he comes in French.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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