I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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