I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
