Pappa wants mamma naked
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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