Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
