People with herpes should wear stickers.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
