thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
